u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
