"it" just moved
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
