he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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