Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
