there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize