i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
