You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
