I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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