Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize