you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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