Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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