Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
