Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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