Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Ladies don't puke and tell
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
