Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
