You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize