do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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