if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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