remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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