I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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