You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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