At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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