OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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