I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
