yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
