please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize