Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
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