he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
