So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Found your dick twin last night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
