I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
