oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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