i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We have so much sex to catch up on
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize