I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
