What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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