I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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