I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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