i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
