What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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