just tell him i said nine months
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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