bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops