i don't like sucking hair
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married