quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.