White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."