before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.