Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
