Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it glows. i had to have it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
