if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
