he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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