I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize