Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
