the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
