Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
