And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
