I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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