Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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