Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
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They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire