end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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