Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out

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  (818): why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out http://tfl.nu/15js
  Replies (2) Good night (1185) Bad night (649)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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  (479): She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction. http://tfl.nu/io12
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (827)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"

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  (512): Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo" http://tfl.nu/rorc
  Replies (30) Good night (4827) Bad night (680)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.

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  (563): whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend. http://tfl.nu/jypi
  Replies (72) Good night (5349) Bad night (729)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks

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  (785): i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks http://tfl.nu/ebeq
  Replies (64) Good night (1164) Bad night (5717)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Have you been tested recently?

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune

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  (520): Have you been tested recently? (1-520): Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune http://tfl.nu/i2uj
  Replies (16) Good night (1354) Bad night (7404)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows

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  (631): You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows http://tfl.nu/rci2
  Replies (44) Good night (4616) Bad night (2849)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy

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  (702): You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy http://tfl.nu/41n6
  Replies (11) Good night (4087) Bad night (925)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.

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  (309): Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs. http://tfl.nu/8989
  Replies (5) Good night (926) Bad night (679)
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  (916): View more from California

  this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse

  (1-916): View more from California

  People like that make this world a better place.

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  (916): this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse (1-916): People like that make this world a better place. http://tfl.nu/pvsx
  Replies (3) Good night (1731) Bad night (567)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.

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  (972): I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls. http://tfl.nu/wzfh
  Replies (9) Good night (2970) Bad night (834)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.

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  (506): Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies. http://tfl.nu/zmgn
  Replies (2) Good night (1472) Bad night (526)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  8===D

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.

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  (412): 8===D (412): That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me. http://tfl.nu/yh0b
  Replies (12) Good night (1975) Bad night (532)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.

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  (647): I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me. http://tfl.nu/s96j
  Replies (4) Good night (992) Bad night (424)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long

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  (601): Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long http://tfl.nu/yjw4
  Replies (6) Good night (514) Bad night (332)

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