Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.