My friends, they love my intelligence
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.