YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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