Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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